the luring.

I don't know why, but I watched a few clips of the 1997 rendition of "Lolita" last night. Jeremy Irons is a handsome Humbert Humbert, and Dominic Swain, the gorgeously young, confused seductress.

I love the Proverbs 5 take on it all:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%205;&version=31

Have a read of it before you even think of checking out Lolita clips on youtube. I reflect on the film as one of deep longing, ashamedly twisted into a perverted and corrupted sexuality. From an artistic point of view, Swain does well in almost making you believe she is an older, more experienced woman in an adolescent's body.

That said, sex is not perverse, but so precious that out of God's intended specialty-place for it, all its true beauty is tarnished, finished, dissolved. I am learning this now. Give your body (and soul) to the one you know whom will commit to you for life. Think of how crazy the innerconnectedness will be, and worship the Creator whose intent is fulfilled in your passionate obedience.

1.

the joy in being Yours.


my flesh.
It wars with my spirit.renewed
My sin, ever before me\

Please, free me from the trap that is
set for me
For you are my only refuge

When you came my sin disappeared
As far as the east was from the west
You removed my transgressions\

My head was down to rest.ready to sleep
It filled with lust pride malice envy bitterness comparisons gossip anxiety trivialities
deification of self.
Oh God, according to your unfailing love, blot out my transgressions

I am tired of my self.
May your righteousness make me clean\
I will pursue the blood.Jesus

Sanctify me
Make me holy

I belong to You.

your love i s better than my life
my lips o theywill glorify my God!


Will I search for wisdom as I would hidden treasure
or Pursue purity righteousness love holiness honour and respect of my siblings
purely because they are joy grabbing activities ..?

I love you Lord
yes. I will obey.
!

4.

relationships take work


Melbourne:

Non-descript door and saxophones, trumpets
We walked into bliss
Name games and eye-spy
It's your company I love

More laughter,
The cultured embrace of keys and its jazz
Fedoras and what's to the left of the room
I leave for the loo (it's you I love).

Upon my return there is a joke
I am unaware
I am oblivious
I don't notice

We are striding
The clouded moon follows
I am stirred and worked up in my heart
I start to cry

You are next to me.
Oh, my dear, I am so hurt! -- I say this.
But there is calm and peace
There is grace between us

Come to a completed stop-
You holdhug me.
I am still crying
I am reminded of hurts

That never really came from you.

we nutted out complications
And were convinced of God's blessings
you cannot choose as newborns
but you can as grown up people.. !



"I am reminded of hurts
That never came from you"


But from you
There is the solace and the space
The relief in the understood
And the realisation of how selfish we don't want to be

Thank you -- I say this
I love you -- this too
This is why I am interstate with you



Having the break of my life!

:)

3.

the unfound soul


Body - I am unsure if there is much else but you.

Mind will work cohesively, barking orders


So the limbs obey.


Tirelessly we strive for existence


For the mere pleasure of being alive.









the soul is found
Where through?
Evangelical fare? - the God of smaller things

Appeared just as my arbour broke!







the ignored soul


There are the sights.


I know, I have seen waters without floors





But in my cave I refrain



From Life.





Whether blood undried


Or the peaceable river-view--





I will stay safe until





I have to die.

arvo.

I wrote this in the middle of 2006. It's heavy with movement and imagery, but expressed in words that are difficult to understand. I used to love using strange vocabulary I hardly understood myself! Silly, I know, but what it described I still see very clearly...




"ARVO"

Our melancholy decadence:

We swirl supine, unconscious.
Layer-upon-layer,
Horseshoe arch. Neck down-breathed—
I tuck, tightly into you, nestled.
Come to rescue, redeem. Days

Long-winded. A ghostly blur,
you were inert.
As one granule streamed down foolhardy,
Impetuous,
One finger commissioned itself,
Your carried concern.

Draped wires teething, A-line. Strength incarnate
Or,
Haply the weakness endures, prolongs
For a revisit
Heart-sweet,
encased.



Please, if you are a poetry-lover or a curious soul pop me a word and I will explain everything to you!

Performance Intimacy II

Saturday night, April 4:

How do I measure this?
Songs I wrote so privately, in the quiet of my bedroom, suddenly awoken to open space. People watch and they listen. They stare in darkness and silence. I have waited so long to get here, to perform and sing from a place without nervousness, anxiety, hesitation or discomfort. It is liberating and freeing. My face contorts into the ugliest of shapes to produce the most ambitious of sounds, but I succeed only because He wants His story told, His glory shone. Thank you Lord!

A quick prayer:
Jesus - You are Lord over me. Remind me of your sovereignty. You changed me. Tune thy heart to sing thy grace. Your streams of mercy never cease. You revived me and gave me new songs to sing from my mouth. Praise the Lord, O my soul. Lesson after lesson, revelation after revelation, I am joyously exhausted in this journey and come back to you for more food. I will forever graze on Your word for without it, I will not survive.
amen.

How can I describe..
A creation of a new place? May I transport you to where His love lies? God cares for you so much. Four years ago I was void of all hope and felt worthless. Then the Holy Spirit revealed Himself to me and now I see why His followers were always so joyful, purposeful, as if they had something I desperately wanted but couldn't grab hold of. He used me to show you His unfailing, endless love... I am surrendered to the Lover of my soul, the only one that has not, and will not let me down in this life. My lips will only glorify Jesus Christ.

If my music brought you any pleasure, or peace, please know its source -

the transformed life I have in Christ!

the rules for this season..

As fast as they come...

1.) Don't pretend.

2.) Don't overshare

3.) Surround self with wise counsel

4.) Wait.

5.) Serve first

6.) Encourage

7.) Affirm

8.) Keep perspective constantly

9.) Seek His face, always

10.) Never speak in final terms!