2011.

I conclude:

Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, so don't trust your eyes at the buffet, trust your tummy :-/

Optimism is the best characteristic a person has during trial season. Faith in Papa - even better (Hebrews 11).

Walk your own healing journey. When you've seen enough, gently guide a willing participant down theirs.

Sometimes your mentors will say things that sound beautiful, but you cannot relate or fully understand, no matter how thorough their explanation. That's actually fine, our time to really 'get it' will come.

Vegetarian and vegan food is not just for yoga-doing, tie-dye-wearing, dreadlock-laden, Hare Krishna hippies...

I am a romantic. I believe in the one.

Have good intuition? Has it been confirmed by surrounding counterparts? How blessed you are! Trust it and don't second guess your gut.

I will be a creative advisor to kings and queens. I will start by speaking into your life, and shutting up when you are speaking into mine (Proverbs 22:11).

90s R&B/Hip hop is the genre I would like to drag back into the scene, track by track, choreographed dance move by dance move...

So I was right all along - morning coffee with Jesus feeds the pragmatic dreamer! Piccolo lattes FTW!

With long distance relationships, you either go for it or you don't.

My spirit is sharpest when in battle for a sister, a brother, the Bride; but lackluster when for the self.

Grow and change into the mature Bride. Climb up the mountain. Free-fall your heart into His hands. Your vision will cloud up from time to time (SS 2:13).

Not only does Father know me incredibly well, He has a witty, clever, timely sense of humor.

That being said, if He tells you to wait for the right job, then jump right in to waiting for the right job!

Don't fill up your bedroom with rubbish you found on sale because it was a fantastic bargain, you will regret it when you spring clean later.

An active, strategic mind will result in time better spent.

I am in the best shape of my life. I believe every woman should feel beautiful regardless of whether she is wearing her evening dress or her pajamas.

Sometimes we make mistakes because we best learn by trial and error. (Yes - I too wish God made me cold and calculated!)

I want more of Jesus. I want to catch His vision for my city, my country, the world...

Get out of a relationship that is simply good. It is supposed to ride on the 'iron-sharpens-iron' calibre of great.

- 1. Do you respect your partner as an objective disciple of Jesus?

- 2. Would you consider them a close friend?

- 3. Are you insanely attracted and compatible with them in spirit, soul and body?

- 4. Are points 1-3 reciprocated?

It is boring to have to only think and look after yourself.

Life at present, is pretty perfect.

(I believe it is time to step up my game.)

Mind over heart. You can't cry over every child abuse report you read. You are responsible to, not responsible for.

In the worship/war room? Stay still. Listen. Want to learn to attune my ear!

Book of Isaiah - I am onto you!

The more you ask yourself why people are the way they are, the less time you will spend taking things so personally.

Take a thousand photos of yourself while you are young and pretty. You won't look like this forever. (Proverbs 5:18)

our city

A working definition of treasure hunting:

The act of:

1.) Gathering together lovers-of-Jesus in min. groups of two.

2.) Asking God the Father, God the Son (Jesus Christ) and the Holy Spirit for His presence, power and the spirit of revelation to fill you, and lead you towards whom He wants to love on through you guys! (His sons and daughters).

3.) Waiting on Him to speak.

Many people have experienced Him giving prophecy through pictures, visions, a Word, and locations. Feel free to share on facebook how else God has spoken to you!

4.) Obeying through action!

Go to the location He showed you, look for the picture He gave you; follow wherever He leads.

5.) With the Spirit of Power within you, boldly and gently approach the chosen person with whatever the Spirit has asked you to say in love.

*NB:

• I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13 NLT).

• My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power (I Corinthians 2:14 NIV)

• For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10 NIV).

• Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12 NIV).

• Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶ keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander (1 Peter 3:14-15 NIV).

Superwoman

You moved interstate to escape
A man inept to reconcile
After three AVOs in local court,
You decide to say goodbye.

The final on your graduation,
You share, and my dropped-jaw
Reaction alludes to my admiration
Of loving-mother-nearly-28; her bubs not babies anymore.

L and K and gorgeous Mummy,
Many mistaking her for young eighteen!
An honours degree achieved by prowess saving and time management skills...

She nurtures a whole faculty.
Half the strength you hold is mystery
Superwoman.

(You've made my list of Amazing Persons history)...

Jessica Santosa Music
Copyright 2011

Kiss

I profess to be a girl in love with You.
Enclosed here is my fountain,
Where all my secrets are stored for You.

Now hurry up the mountain!
Past all the foxes and the leopards
Who ruined my vineyard in the days of old.

(This was before You came
and saved the day).

If I'm as beautiful as Tirzah in Your eyes
Then I will adorn myself with Your delights
Henna with nard
Saffron, myrrh and frankincense

While I'm in Your arms You touch the silk of my new robes
Inspired by the pictures You made of me
Of I in white, dressed as Your bride.

Your perfect Love, expelled me from the realm of fear.
Your perfect Love, expels me from the realm of fear...

With honey and milk under Your tongue You hold my hand and kiss me in the secret place!

Yes, I will ride on chariots with You
Pulled by stallions and mares
Because You are the King of my heart.

Jessica Santosa Music
Copyright 2011

how to be made new

1. Soak, immerse, saturate yourself in worship music.

Queue up Jesus Culture or Hillsong United on YouTube if you don't have it on your iPod. Let the music flood your room, or better yet your entire house. Swim in the beautiful truth of Jesus' love for you. Enjoy Him and soak.

2. Open the Word.

Read through a whole chapter, out loud. There is something very powerful about speaking out and proclaiming the truth to yourself. If the Holy Spirit illuminates anything, write it out on a piece of paper and blu-tack it on your wall, make it your memory verse for the next few days. If you journal, write it out in BIG font in your journal. Note down all the fresh revelations the Holy Spirit gives you.

Life Application Bibles, concordances, Bible dictionaries and internet resources are especially helpful during study. As a visual person I have found watching YouTube Bible movies of the Old Testament extremely helpful, as I can lack imagination simply reading! That said, know yourself and your learning style well, then plunge into deep studies of the Word of God. Sharpen that sword!

3. Treasure community.

Your church home is precious. It is the Body of Christ. Jesus is in love with her, read Song of Songs. Make the most of every morsel of time you spend with her. If you are having coffee with another believer, love on them with all you've got. If you feel comfortable sharing openly and honestly, praise God! There is nothing more beautiful than fellowship where you can do life together.

I have recently joined a new church home and am refreshed by how in love she is with the presence of God. Everyone there is open to talking about, basking in, walking in the Spirit. They live lifestyles of praise and worship and delight in deep study of the Word. We regularly sharpen each other with testimonies, and there is a culture of 'worship jamming' which I have a soft spot for! The people of God are your body as they are Christ's. You cannot do life without them, as messy as human relationships may become. Open, honest communication standing on a foundation of love for each other, as we are drenched in our Father's love for us is how we should roll!

4. Journal

According to D. Whitney, author of 'Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life', journalling is a spiritual discipline! And I completely agree. It is important to record every testimony, revelation, learning curve, inspirational meeting with another believer, vision, dream, prophecy, prayer meeting event, lyric --- for the sake of building up your own faith, which was credited to Abraham as righteousness! As your faith grows, and you pray for bigger mountains to move, you will stand on those testimonies confident in your God. You will remember the day when He gave you the words to say as you loved on your non-believing friend, and they asked you about Jesus. Or, the night you were delivered from the spirit of unforgiveness and how free your heart is now!!

A few believers have shared with me their anxiety with journalling - buying a beautiful leather bound notebook and feeling their handwriting to be unworthy of filling its pages. Nonsense! Your journal is for YOU. It's purpose is to serve the Lord through your writing in it. If one day drawing a picture does perfect justice to how you are feeling, by all means draw that picture! Or if you just want to mind map the contents of your mind then go ahead! The only rules in your journal are the ones you set, so it's just a matter of re-setting the rules for yourself!

I learned how best to journal when I was at university and would scribble in the backs of exercise books. When I didn't need them anymore I ripped out the subject pages and used the rest as my scribble journal. I learned a freedom like no other! I even wrote some of my best poetry doing that. Even as I continue to write songs, lyrical composition is never in my neatest handwriting, it is usually illegible scribble as my hand cannot keep up with what my brain is thinking, saying and eventually singing.

On a final note with journalling, it is for your eyes only, and you would want it to have a raw and brutal honesty. The aesthetic of that kind of accuracy is unpredictable.

5. Ask for prayer when you need it.

Don't be ashamed to ask for it. Be specific, and be strategic with whom you ask. I always ask people who are like-minded, stand on a foundation of all-or-nothing, and whom I am comfortable pouring my heart towards.

The body of Christ is just for this. Let your family help you up when you feel you're about to fall.

Finally,

I will not stop praying for you since I first heard about you. I will ask God to give you complete knowledge of His will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honour and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while you will grow as you get to know God better and better.

- Colossians 1:9-10

"The goal is not even fruitfulness, the goal is His face - the intimacy cultivated with Abba Father."

- Heidi Baker.

travelling.

I am leaving for Phnom Penh, the Cambodian capital, on Monday night. First time travelling alone.

Check out http://www.daughtersofcambodia.org to see a little of what I'll be doing there.

In preparation for this trip, the events in my life that have led up to this have produced such revelations from Father:

• Australia, UK, Cambodia, China, Kenya - wherever you are, you will always be part of an International picture. Your work in this life and world does not start until you realise this.
• There is no better place to be than in His will. It is privilege to sit here and talk about going. I am not necessary at Daughters and probably never will be, but that's just it, I am there to learn about poverty and why the sex trade exists, and what it has done to humanity. I can't think of a better way to spend my post-degree November!
• You have a university degree. Good on you. You may not think it's a huge deal, but from a global perspective, many kids can't even afford primary school.
• Having held this view for a long time, and waiting for someone to prove me wrong, I am going to share it boldly: Travelling overseas when you are spiritually in the "build" stages of your faith, as opposed to being "sent" to share the gospel, is highly dangerous. E.g. A second year uni student who is actively involved in the spiritual movement on campus, decides she wants to do exchange in Germany. She does not prioritise the setting up of spiritual supports - a church, a Bible study, godly people who will be there with her and walking with her. In fact, thinking you need less support than more is always an opportunity for the devil to prey on you. There is no one to catch you when you fall. No one to tell you to not get involved with that really cute German guy who just asked you out at the cafe! for example.
• Physical environment does dramatically change, and yes, you set up new routine molding oneself around your place. However, your friends back home are only an internet connection away. They are still involved in your life if you let them, and you are still involved in theirs if you invite yourself in!
• Mission trips are funny things. Many Christians go on about the work they do, which is great. But who is your first love again? The point is - what does Father want to teach you about Him in this new space? Why has He brought you here? The world is His, He created everything in it. The 'work' that 'you do' does not stop when you hop on a plane back home, it keeps going, wherever you are! Because, the reality is, you are in a forever-relationship with Father, transcending all barriers of location and time. He is with you wherever you are.

My food - is every word that comes out of the Father's mouth, and to do His will, because He sent me.

stand up for yourself.

Had a male patient at work, 42 years, with mental health issues, stand over the front desk staring at me. He had no reason to. As an avid ex-feminist, human rights activist and pro-assertion person (especially in regards to women standing up for themselves), I let him get away with intimidating me. I knew he loved the power he had, the power I let him have over me. I hate myself for it. Why didn't I assert myself and say "No, it's not ok with me that you stand and lean over the desk like that. Maybe you could go and stand elsewhere, like over there, perhaps?"

I guess as it was my last day, I thought it a battle not worth fighting. Also, there was a mum with her bub in the waiting room and I didn't want him to cause a scene. I am still brooding though. I need to pray about this.

---------------------

My whole life I have blamed other people who have hurt me. Yes, for that time it was their fault. They were meant to raise me to become an independent, confident woman in her own right, and instead they allowed great suffering to come my way. A few years on, after thousands of reflective conversations, journal entries, and songs written, I realise their inherent fallibility.

A survivor-in-life friend of mine had said, "how can you expect people to see your wound when they can't even see their own?". Pertinent and perfectly articulate of this.

As women, we need to:

- Run to Jesus as our only authority and truth. He is perfection, no one else is. For years I had been living a lie, thinking that I needed to say yes to all people's requests and demands, or else they would not love me, or I would be a failure of a daughter and friend. When I learned that this was not the Father's will, it set me free.

- Fall in the loving arms of Father. Cultivate a beautiful dependency on Him. It was what you were made for. He is completely trustworthy and holds all the wisdom in the universe. Ask Him for it.

- Practice assertion and boundary setting. Once you know what is true and what is a lie, you can be confident in your "no" and in your "yes". Practice on people who are growing with you. If you are a personal friend of mine, practice saying 'no' to me! You are also not responsible for their response to you. You are only responsible for yourself.

- Surround yourself with all types of godly people. I used to have a really distorted view of men and relationships. It wasn't until I joined Student Life, a Christian movement on campus that I met amazing godly guys who showed me how a woman should be treated. I am now dating a really great guy who put much thought and prayer into pursuing me. He is so great that I now understand and embrace all those passages about submission!

Pauls, Barnabases and Timothies.

P - Do you have a spiritual mentor? Seek one out at your church. I did, and now we are about to launch a whole mentoring program!

B - Who is walking with you spiritually and on the same journey as you are? The lens which you look at the world should be Jesus's. You will share these experiences together, talking about how you both dealt with them, and how you can continue to be the aroma of Christ to the world.

T - Who are you spiritually influencing? This is hard sometimes, I know. But never think you are not influencing anybody. Younger Christians are always watching you.

- Protect your time with God. I should have started with this, but empty yourself before Him, before receiving what He has to say to you. At some points in time I feel so busy but an attitude of "I'm too busy NOT to pray" reminds you that apart from Him you really can do nothing.

Without quality time with God, we end up merely existing and not living. If our relationship with Jesus is eternal, then He is the reality. Prayer and the Word is a reminder of our belonging to Him and our eternity in Heaven.