Young and naive.

Sifting through other people's blogs and reading about their daily thought processes has left me feeling hungry. Why can't I be at that level? At the same time, I give myself grace, knowing my age and how much I can carry with my own two hands.

There are 2 more days until I go to South Korea for CM2007. I cannot contain my excitement! At work today, I pictured meeting someone from Algeria and them telling me about the difficulties in preaching the gospel on campus; then I imagined myself trying out "gahm-sah-ham-ni-da" (thank you in Korean) to a local... oh, I almost cried!

I want to grow and be amazing for God. Lately, He's been teaching me patience, and not even just in the wider scheme of things, but in general, everyday situations. While I wait for those senior to me to board the bus first, I am slightly rude to the Chinese woman who assumes I can speak her language. While I stop by a Big Issue seller to purchase a copy, mainly to do him a favour, I am discreetly sour at the very rich customer who tries to intimidate me, and I fool myself into thinking he does not deserve the same amount of love.

"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others?" - Matthew 5:46-47

We are all broken. And broken people need God's grace to glue themselves together. Just, some are better at concealing it than others. But you're a fool if you're convinced that their all-together face is the real them.

"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
- Matthew 5:48

Yes God.

Done to death, but the benefits of singleness...

You can crop your hair uber short (like a boy), because you don't have a boyfriend also with short hair (for fear of looking the same!).

You can get a tongue ring and braces, because you have no boyfriend to kiss!

You can spend your entire paycheck on your sponsored child from Indonesia and not your povo boyfriend who complains that you make more moolah than he does.

You can chat for unlimited hours on landline with your best chickie friend because you have no boy who wants a significant chunk of your ear-time also.

You can have a girl's day out, a girl's night out, and a girl's morning in and do it over and over and over again until you get sick of each other (but that probably won't happen!).

You can freely cuddle up with your cute little kitty at home and not have your boyfriend look over the both of you with envy and longing.

You can write your emo poems in peaceful solitude and not with your boyfriend who ACTUALLY IS rather... err... emo.

You can compile a list of your favourite baby names with free rein. No input from your boyfriend to bother you!

While walking down the street, you can sing and talk to yourself without your boyfriend in the way of your self-conversation.

And lastly, you can wear your own gorgeous, trendy jewellery and not the distateful crap he gives you on Valentine's Day and Christmas and birthdays. :D

Mind speak might just be gutter speak.

Summer Salt 'o6. I receive the Jael Award for "Hammering home the point".


Don't be distressed. I'd no clue who Jael was either. Apparently, she hammered a tent peg into someone's temple and killed them. Only in the Bible of course.


The point was that they appreciated my bluntness.

My bluntness. Speaking my mind. Not beating around the bush. Getting straight to the point. Being succinct, laconic, economical in speech.


In high school there was this girl, *Sandra, who was quite famous for her brutal honesty. It began in Year 7 and continued on til graduation day. She just adored it. Everybody feared her. People would always look to Sandra for an honest opinion, a piece of advice, or protection of some kind. As this reputation rolled on for such a time, she grew cockier about the reception of her opinions and soon developed an opinion for everything and a mysterious knowledge about any random topic. Right at the end of it all, people started to realise how wrong she often was about things and how hurtful she could be with her tongue.

Which brings me to my point--

I am ashamed of my so-called bluntness.
I suppose it was influenced by a very assertive mother and older sister. Also a genuine childhood interest in female empowerment through feminism (I was 11). Naturally a rather shy kid, I always dreamed of being confident and outspoken, and my parents made sure to teach me the mechanics of social etiquette "or else you'll embarrass us", they would say.

Soon I was coming out with my opinions left, right and centre. One whole term in Year 8 was filled with lunch times of me, solo-yelling to my group of friends about all that irritated me regarding each of them. I soon realised the power of speaking your mind; people feared you indeed. You would be heard, respected, taken seriously.

However, would you be loved? More importantly, would you be expressing love through such 'brutal' honesty? If your aspiring supermodel friend asked for your honest opinion regarding her 145cm stature, would you tell her
"No, you midget you CAN'T BE A MODEL!" or would you simply tell her,
"I think you've been made beautiful in the image of your Creator. Your height may be an issue to Priscilla's Model Agency but it's the craftsmanship of the Almighty God, I tell you!"

Often bluntness is associated with brutal honesty. And that brutal honesty implies "the truth hurts". While it may, I think our aim when speaking the truth should be to promote love, and to glorify Jesus Christ, whom, in all things were made, and who IS the truth, way and life in which we live.

Selling yourself inverts your wares.

As God's daughter I think this way:

No sex before marriage. God invented it as a sacred union between husband and wife.
There is the option not to kiss either, but as the premise of a relationship is quite far off I'd best leave that to when the time actually comes.
No openings of sexuality, whether large or small, prior to marriage.
Dress modestly. Dress respectfully. Dress lovingly towards my brothers in Christ. Is what I am wearing hindering their spiritual fruit bearing?

Selling-your-body mindset:

Be the instrument of a man's sexual release upon payment.
No kissing the client. Kissing is too personal, too sacred. Does the man expect to have her heart, soul and mind also in the bargain?
Sexuality is her most powerful tool, the only place of power. Use it and he will most likely submit.
'Whore' attire also comes with attitude and body language. Dress sexy. Dress provocatively. Make sure your wares are on full display. Be the one he wants.

Can't buy me love

Am currently feeling inspired by 'A Franciscan Benediction'.

Yes, may God bless me with foolishness of heart, to believe that I can have a hand in changing the world. So to do what others claim cannot be done.

So herein is my life's ambition:

To abolish the practice of prostitution.

I want to do Thailand, Amsterdam, the local brothels in Croydon, Campsie, Burwood. I really don't care where I go, just as long as God can use me to minister to these women.

Where to start though? While I've forever been reading up on studies conducted by university researchers and professors, on backstreets in Norway, brothels in Australia, the red light district of Amsterdam and a recent doco called 'Love For Sale', looking into an American brothel and the experiences of the workers there, I know that I need to suss out the problem firsthand.

More soon x

My dream is to eventually:

Marry a handsome Prince, and have lots and lots of little babies with him.

We will also live in a lovely house.




So far that is all that particular fantasy entails.

Before marriage and children, however, I want Thai women, forced to work in the red light district to also marry their handsome princes and have their abundance of cute little babies.

I want them to live in lovely houses too.




Although, I am not finished listing my dreams ---


I want to move mountains within myself.

I want to wash the feet of my aggressors.

I want to love without wanting love in return.

I want to be forever dissatisfied with a comfortable bed for me, and I won't stop til there are comfortable beds for every one of God's children.


I want to see the Son in everyone.

The Existential Crisis

Toil is meaningless.

Work is meaningless.

Pleasure is meaningless.

Knowledge is meaningless.

Beauty is meaningless.

Relationships are meaningless.

Money is meaningless.

Art is meaningless.

Victory is meaningless.

We are meaningless-
A chasing after the wind. From dust we came and to dust we shall return.