Bursting bubbles

Tonight I played a gig at Kelly's on King St. There was no sound guy, my levels were off and several times I had to adjust my guitar or my mic. I don't know what I have become, if I can call it 'professional' or whatever, but in trying to multitask I just looked like an inexperienced amateur (which I definitely am)! All in all it wasn't the best gig ever, but I look back and consider it worthy still.

I am finding it so hard to relate to the secular audience. All my songs have been inspired by my walk with God. So in introducing 'Soap&Vacuum' I said something like: 'So this song was inspired by a bar of soap and a vacuum cleaner, and then it switches over to God's love.' People usually smile at that. (I am so chicken).

Am I determined to stay young and idealistic? For my sanity, I would rather not know about the feelings of worthlessness the other musician I met tonight had experienced. For my innocence, I would rather not know about this girl I met at Kelly's, who fell pregnant at 15 and has been mothering her now 2-year-old son to this day. I came into this music adventure wanting to share the gospel to the lost, but I didn't realise how hard it would be.

I once lived in a Christian bubble. If I am still inside it I wouldn't be surprised.

I don't want to feel worthless when no one is listening to me sing and play. I want to be the last hopeful who considers it an opportunity to witness, because, who can comprehend the mind of God and what is happening spiritually? Also, I want to learn from the girl I met tonight. How could I be so sheltered from people like her? I want God to use me in telling her about His love, and to give me the words to say in doing this.

May I learn to be all things to all men, so that by all means I might save some.