I need to commit myself to memorising scripture.
If I do this, His word will be engraved on my heart, forever. Application won't be so difficult. The Spirit may show me the way, but I must do the walking onto the paths drawn out for me. If the Bible is the authoritative word of God, the Creator's revelation to His people, then I need to consume it completely. It is not enough to run through His sacred word, as if it were matched to any other book, but to eat it as if it were sustenance. Today I memorised 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. It has protected me. His hand upholds me. I love it when scripture comes alive.
I need to be honest in all my relationships.
He knows when we sit and when we rise. He perceives our thoughts from afar. Before a word is on our tongue, He knows it completely (Psalm 139). Thus, you might as well be straight up with God. I know you might lose something if you are honest. But Paul says it is better to suffer for doing good than what is evil, and never tire for doing what is right. If you are in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation -- He hung on a cross for you..
I need to cut out things that will grieve the Spirit.
For me, it's Sex and the City, ALL romantic comedies, most novels, Top 40 music videos, and some of my most significant musical influences. Do you understand how difficult this was for me at first? I know one guy who, when he became serious about his relationship with God, threw out his entire heavy metal CD collection. It wasn't inexpensive either. I eliminate these things because they prompt me to stumble. Praise Jesus Christ, that I am surrounded by strong sisters in Christ who are neither into SATC or romantic comedies!
Following on, I replace music I once loved in the world with:
(I need to surround myself with) music that will set my mind on things above.
The Christian music scene is growing. I am listening to a lot of Jon Foreman, Chris Tomlin, Brooke Fraser, Moravia, Hillsong United, old hymns, and plenty of other local Christian music. It furthers this very important ministry. To put it in perspective, who doesn't listen to music? Might as well surround yourself with positive spiritual influences, that infiltrate your Spirit with the beautiful symphony of scripture and words inspired from it, and God himself.
I need to be selfish about having time for God and me.
Look around you. Is any of this real? "For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."(2 Cor 4:18) I don't know about you, but the world is a tiring, dying place. Time with God refreshes. It is the only thing in life that is eternal and real.
Our mission on earth is not just to make disciples but to be transformed in the image and likeness of Jesus Christ. How much do you want this relationship? The more we talk to God the more He will teach us things, especially on how to listen to his voice. Yes, I do feel things when I pray. Sometimes I am shaken up after wrestling with Him about something. Other times my voice gets tired from singing endless praises, but I will never tire of praising my God! Most of all I enjoy being with my Father. He loves me and cares about how I am.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Unsure at the Undaground.
I am becoming disillusioned at 20.
At 13, the thought of getting up infront of people to sing and play guitar made my hands sweaty and shaky and my heart beat faster..
At 15, tiny spurts of potential were being worked on by my music teachers. I performed without confidence. I just needed confidence..
At 17, I wrote my first solo song for HSC music. I couldn't write music properly, so I left it as a performance piece and something to use to fill in sets at future gigs..
At 18, I completely abandoned music exams, my guitar and my voice. I ignored anything to do with performing musically. I sang at church once and they told me I was off tune.
At 19, I met someone who inspired me to pick up my guitar and start writing again. Back to needing confidence...
From 19 to 20, and now nearly 21, fast track back into 1. confidence; 2. original repertoire; 3. validity; 4. professionalism and
>> 5. Musical Identity.
No better way to explain this than to paraphrase what Geoff of Musicians Prayer Network told me after watching my set at the Undaground last night, Aug 9:
"Interesting style you have. It's definitely not commercial. This means you won't be popular, but niche. You'll appeal to a specific group of people who will like your sort of music. I think you were largely performing to a Christian crowd, so it was ok to say the things you said on stage, but it's better to keep the deeper stuff for the fans that keep coming back to your gigs... Ultimately, you're performing to an audience of One, and what the world needs aren't musicians who will give them what they want, but musicians that will show them what God wants for them."
It was a big deal to meet Geoff. I have wanted to meet him for a long time. What he said last night has greatly affected me. Yes, I am comfortable with never "making it" in the mainstream. I have always known I was niche, as many of my influences (Christian or otherwise) are also fringe musos. Also, I have seriously considered writing a silly/cheeky song (Uncle Mike's advice) to balance out my sets. I can't always have my dream gig - small, intimate venue with loads of floor space for people to sit, relax and listen and be truly interested in the birth of each of my songs! I'm a pretty intense singer/songwriter so last night, I felt a little silly being as open as I was.
The journey has been good and difficult. Once upon a time it was about having the singing/playing ability. Then it was about confidence. Now it's about experience, identity and marketability. Sometimes I hate that I'm so open. It often leaves me feeling overexposed. But, sometimes it has turned out beautifully, and I can't deny the beauty of that intimacy. In fact I love it, and I hate that I get more and more discouraged when it doesn't turn out so well.
Things I need to do better next time:
1. Choose venues wisely.
2. Assess audience - receptive? non-receptive?
3. Better to play with someone than without. It's not as lonesome :(.
4. Let the song do the talking, unless, you sense the audience wants to hear the externals...
I just pray God used it. Whatever happened last night. That some teenage girl listened to anything I said, and that it sear in her mind for the rest of her life, so she may be led to make right decisions and not the wrong ones which my songs were based on..
At 13, the thought of getting up infront of people to sing and play guitar made my hands sweaty and shaky and my heart beat faster..
At 15, tiny spurts of potential were being worked on by my music teachers. I performed without confidence. I just needed confidence..
At 17, I wrote my first solo song for HSC music. I couldn't write music properly, so I left it as a performance piece and something to use to fill in sets at future gigs..
At 18, I completely abandoned music exams, my guitar and my voice. I ignored anything to do with performing musically. I sang at church once and they told me I was off tune.
At 19, I met someone who inspired me to pick up my guitar and start writing again. Back to needing confidence...
From 19 to 20, and now nearly 21, fast track back into 1. confidence; 2. original repertoire; 3. validity; 4. professionalism and
>> 5. Musical Identity.
No better way to explain this than to paraphrase what Geoff of Musicians Prayer Network told me after watching my set at the Undaground last night, Aug 9:
"Interesting style you have. It's definitely not commercial. This means you won't be popular, but niche. You'll appeal to a specific group of people who will like your sort of music. I think you were largely performing to a Christian crowd, so it was ok to say the things you said on stage, but it's better to keep the deeper stuff for the fans that keep coming back to your gigs... Ultimately, you're performing to an audience of One, and what the world needs aren't musicians who will give them what they want, but musicians that will show them what God wants for them."
It was a big deal to meet Geoff. I have wanted to meet him for a long time. What he said last night has greatly affected me. Yes, I am comfortable with never "making it" in the mainstream. I have always known I was niche, as many of my influences (Christian or otherwise) are also fringe musos. Also, I have seriously considered writing a silly/cheeky song (Uncle Mike's advice) to balance out my sets. I can't always have my dream gig - small, intimate venue with loads of floor space for people to sit, relax and listen and be truly interested in the birth of each of my songs! I'm a pretty intense singer/songwriter so last night, I felt a little silly being as open as I was.
The journey has been good and difficult. Once upon a time it was about having the singing/playing ability. Then it was about confidence. Now it's about experience, identity and marketability. Sometimes I hate that I'm so open. It often leaves me feeling overexposed. But, sometimes it has turned out beautifully, and I can't deny the beauty of that intimacy. In fact I love it, and I hate that I get more and more discouraged when it doesn't turn out so well.
Things I need to do better next time:
1. Choose venues wisely.
2. Assess audience - receptive? non-receptive?
3. Better to play with someone than without. It's not as lonesome :(.
4. Let the song do the talking, unless, you sense the audience wants to hear the externals...
I just pray God used it. Whatever happened last night. That some teenage girl listened to anything I said, and that it sear in her mind for the rest of her life, so she may be led to make right decisions and not the wrong ones which my songs were based on..
Friday, August 1, 2008
the hat
The hat was only $8.
You were a smart shopper.
Suddenly, temporarily wealthy,
The motivation was really
a combination
of things -
the weather: cold.
your heart feeling
bold,
and your self esteem reliant on worn fabric creations
likely to enhance those 'subtler facial features'.
Really,
you knew,
you knew that the lack of closure
took a sick pleasure
in his admiration
of your beauty
and it felt
exeptionally nice,
when he walked by
and noticed how cute you looked
in your $8 hat.
You were a smart shopper.
Suddenly, temporarily wealthy,
The motivation was really
a combination
of things -
the weather: cold.
your heart feeling
bold,
and your self esteem reliant on worn fabric creations
likely to enhance those 'subtler facial features'.
Really,
you knew,
you knew that the lack of closure
took a sick pleasure
in his admiration
of your beauty
and it felt
exeptionally nice,
when he walked by
and noticed how cute you looked
in your $8 hat.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)