The Under St. Promise Train

Scene:

The package deal - a tryingly forgettable train ride to the Alps of Peace End, a much desired location for adventure-seekers, lovers of coffee, musicians, blue collar workers and twelve hour working day life specialists. They encourage - self initiated intervention among patrons, conventional team work, hierarchy dissillusion and respect of the permanent kind.



Their presentation:


TO UNDER ST. PROMISE TRAIN (USPT) PATRONS

Upon boarding an Under St Promise Train carriage, we make the assumption that patrons are aware of non-departure until arrival at the Alps of Peace End. All facilities are built into the body of the train and patrons by default board with no baggage of the tangible kind. Gradual accumulation of luggage and continual re-creation of baggage of the non-tangible kind is expected. USPT provides all patrons with the choice to architect their own journey with materials made available by our staff.

We promise:

To provide seating, foot space, pot luck odours, windows, a toilet with vanity and loud and quiet. The relational dynamics between all patrons will not be perfect, but we encourage perseverance until arrival at the Alps of Peace End.

To provide exactly twenty four hours in each day that patrons may utilise for self architecture, growth of the four-to-five kind, and leisure activity. Patrons who have been with us for longer may choose to develop an interest in another for the purpose of creating other patrons, or for the enhancement of one's journey.

To provide you with security staff for your protection. Discretion may be used for the utilisation of non-profit organisation guards, plain-clothes police, tafe trained emotion engineers or bulk billing life janitors.


Please be considerate:

We have slowly accepted concurrent overcommitment from patrons.
Hours of revelatory rest are unique to each patron.
New travellers require default positioned siesta time due to body clock and miniature size.
Senior citizens of USPT may require walking assistance, first aid or an ear.
Tear-proof shoulders are available upon request at overwhelming demand.



At your leisure:

Feel free to enjoy self-motivated planning of carved out quality time for grace-growers, common-bloods and marital tied-tos. Patron relationships not of these categories may be contacted by email or phone - we charge $3.0/hr (inc. free espresso coffee of any type - check menu for details) for all line use inc. Internet.

We offer a wide range of hobbies for patrons including self determination, self glorification, self deification, self obsession, self gratification, self soothing and self actualisation. We recommend self reflection, self awareness, self sacrifice, and self empowerment with self abandonement under the Matthew Sixteenverse Twentyfour Act.

Newcreation patrons are not expected to choose the option of Sunday Gathering Day but Under St Promise Train takes no responsibility for de-motivation, lack of growth, backsliding and loss of destination to the Alps of Peace End.


Under St. Promise Train does not wish you a mediocre journey but a heavily melancholic and rollercoaster-like in emotion one, with the occasional seasonal joy, which all senior citizens are assumed to enjoy. Please direct all other queries, questions and complaints to Level 4 of our four level train to 1-800-GOD. Responses will arrive shortly, at medium time length or at increase of your patience and least expectancy.

Yours sincerely,

The Under St Promise Train Staff